It's 9:00 am, the family is sleeping, the sun is shining and it's a good day.
Today will be an emotional day.
Today I will be getting together with Tamye's friends and family to raise a glass, share stories, laughs and hugs and I daresay, a few tears as we remember such an incredible wife, mother, woman and friend.
I miss her so terribly.
As I wander through my days I am reminded of her constantly. I didn't realize just how tightly her life was woven into mine.
Grief is new to me. I don't know what to "do" with it, how to process it, how to DEAL with it.
Thursday was a rough day. I was tired, emotional, sad, overwhelmed. I couldn't seem to function. I could't DO anything. I was "stuck" ... but the tears wouldn't come ... until they did ... and once they started ... oh boy.
This was the second "ugly cry" day I've had. It surprised me. I thought I was "better" after the one I'd had last week. I thought the healing had begun and although I knew I'd be sad and shed some tears now and then I really didn't expect the burning flood of tears of Thursday.
I was sitting having lunch. I was sad but thought I was "stable" ... and then I had a thought ... "I thought I was strong!" ... and the dam broke.
"People say I'm strong. If I'm so strong why is it I can't do anything today other than cry ... and eat cookies?", I later texted Craig.
It went on for hours. It stopped. It started again. And so it went.
I leaned on my husband. I leaned on a dear friend. I got through the day.
I went to bed exhausted. Emotionally drained ... and with a cracking headache.
I don't reach out to others easily ... or often. It's not becauseI see it as a sign of weakness, it's just that I logically KNOW what people will say so why burden them with my problems? I leaned anyway. I needed support. They helped me. They listened to me. They supported me. I found a quote that very much helped me.
I just wanted to share that as so many of you have been wonderful and have reached out to me and ask "how are you". So far 6/7 days a week are fantastic. The 7th day sucks. As I understand it, that's how grief goes. People tell me it gets easier with time. I look forward to that day but I do realize it's a journey and for once in my life I need to be patient.
I'll get there ... with a little help from my family and friends :)
So ... I really didn't want this to be a "downer" post as I really am in a very good mood today! I wanted to share a spring-y, happy project I made last week. (I'm DYING to share my On Stage projects with you ... alas ... still another 2.5 weeks until I can!!!)
The calendar says it is officially spring now and Easter is NEXT weekend! I wanted to play with my new basket embossing folder (FREE with a $120 purchase for one more week only during the Sale-a-brations promotion!) . I also wanted to play with some pretty spring colors. I used these tulips as my inspiration ...
Such CUTE little baskets!!!
I love this color combination - Crumb Cake, Berry Burst, Whisper White and Chocolate Chip (or Early Espresso - both work well!)
The baskets are SO easy to make using a 5 1/2" x 5 1/2" piece of card stock. I used the Basket Weave embossing folder, the A Good Day stamp set, the 1 3/4", 1 1/2", 1 3/8" Scallop and 1" punches. I used my Tombow glue to assemble the basket.
I made a short video showing you how to make them but it will take me 4 hours to upload it to Youtube and Koda wants to walk so just head over to Facebook, search for Tamara's Paper Trail and find that video! I'll post it to YouTube when I get 4 hours *lol*
Looking at those tulips I also wanted to share the tulip card I made earlier this year using the Tranquil Tulips hostess set...
So that's me for today. I'm going to walk the dog, do some laundry, craft a little and then head out to the Toast for Tamye. It will be a good day :)
Whatever you get up today, I hope it's a stampy one xox
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